Thema: Lack of Empathy -> Lack of Love?

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

Lack of Empathy -> Lack of Love?
23.09.2015 von alsohere

I recently cheated on my girlfriend, now ex. There was nothing wrong with the relationship. Before we broke up I was trying to figure out why I did what I did. The girlfriend said it had something to do with how I handle emotions. So I started digging into that and found out I probably have Alexithymia.

Now, I do not think that it is necessarily a bad thing. I've seen how emotions can screw things up pretty badly. It is the lack of empathy that I'm worried about. The lack of empathy in that I will never be able to feel a real connection with someone. That I will hurt more people as I fail to consider or ascertain how they feel about stuff.

I do not blame Alexi for me cheating. (That would be sociopathic and I just made a really echo-centric decision with no regard for my girlfriend). But I do wonder if I never really loved my girlfriend because I just do not recognize the feeling of love.

My whole life I had been searching for someone to love. I felt this was missing. Then I finally had such a person and it was `just okay'. Of course she was head over heels in love with me, but I could not reciprocate. Not really. It was just as fake as the most of my social interactions

I feel the same
15.10.2015 von doctoreaha

I completely understand you and i share what you are feeling. I have been jumping around from women to women but I cant really tell if i have ever fallen in love. I dont know what love is. I also cheated on one of them, for no reason at all. But after she found out i felt really bad for a couple of hours and that was it. In my job everyone thinks im this great dude that gets along with everyone but they dont know that inside i dont feel anything, i just kinda fake my social interactions.

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