08.06.2021 by User54295P20
I have extremely dampened emotions, most of the time I'm not feeling anything, just neutral. It takes a lot of a certain emotion to make me feel just a little bit of it. I'm also a very logical thinker, I act on logic, not emotion
A few weeks back, my friends grandfather died and I felt no empathy for her what-so-ever. I didn't feel bad about it either, I was just my same neutral. A similar incident happened a week ago, my girlfriend called and was crying after an argument with her mother. I sat there, the woman I think I love (I don't know for sure, that's my best guess for the emotion I feel around her) in pain but I felt no empathy at all, just my same everyday neutral.
The thing that's worse is that I don't even feel bad about it. I'm afraid that they might think I care about them less but I don't, I just can't relate to them I guess.
Within my group of friends, I'd only consider myself close to 2 or 3 of them (My girlfriend included). A few of them had begun to think I hated them because I don't reach out to them often but I had no idea they felt this way at all and it's been over a month. I tend to keep to myself and don't need nearly as much social interaction as others so I think they took that the wrong way.
I'm not diagnosed but I scored 149 on the test about 2 months ago and ever since I've been trying to analyze what I feel and how my actions or words make others feel. It's really hard for me to constantly stop and think "how will this make them feel?" since most things just make me feel neutral or "meh".