I believe my bff's wife suffers from this. One of the things she does is lives life as a spectator. When we go places together, she laughs when others laugh, etc. She never discusses anything with depth. She has been married to my friend for 40 years but they never discuss anything with emotion. I consider her a spectator of life. She joins groups and hides behind group activities. She seldom actually contributes to any conversation. She is often rude and thoughtless of others. She goes with us but is just there. When we are one on one, it is a struggle to make conversation. She is simply breathing my air and sucking the life out of me. She is quite child-like even though she is 65 years old. There is no depth to her personality. I am completely bored when around her.
Topic: spectator of life
Almost describes my mom, but my mom is smarter than what you are describing.
That sounds like most people I know. (non-alex, neuro-typical). Why not talk to your friend about what he sees in her? Perhaps that might give you a better understanding and a more solid ground to approach a connection with your friend's wife. How is she sucking life out of you though? Just ignore her if it bothers you so.