I have always hated people who pity me or people who think im weak more than anyone else. I dont exactly know why. I think it may have something to do with Alexi brcause I have a high with 156.
Does anyone feel the same way?
Well, I can't say I know what you're going through, since I've never talked to anybody I know about alexi and therefore no one really knows I have it; but, I can kind of imagine what it's like. I know I wouldn't want people feeling bad for me or actively trying to change me, since right now I'm perfectly comfortable being who I am. So, if you're okay with being the way you are too, you have a good reason not to like the people who pity you.
That is, assuming this actually does have something to do with alexi.
Hi,
So i have just signed up to this forum after finding my way to the Toronto Alexithymia 20 Questions. I have been soul searching for a time now and trying to work out why my patterns remain the same within interpersonal relationships. I am easily loved by passive and dependent men and I end up the dominant and valued one. I know I have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style which continually leads me to clingy needy men and yet their dependence and neediness revolts me. The need for intimacy ALL THE TIME makes no sense to me and yet again (this is my third serious relationship with one divorce under my 29 year old belt) i find myself the strong one while my pathetic boyfriend wimpers around looking for breadcrumbs that I just cannot provide. I work two jobs averaging 70 hours per week and i study two seperate diplomas full time. He works two days per week and only pays for his smokes and alcohol. I pay for everything. Rent and even though i hate him for it i continue to do it. I dont care about his emotions. I cant talk to him about mine because all that comes out is apathy. I just dont get it... Alexi has offered me hope that maybe i am not narcissistic after all.
Thanks in advance for reading my posts that will surely come.
Dani
I exactly feel the same way and this is why I will not tell my family that I am alexithymic. I guess how they will react and this is terrible. Since they are exaggerating little events and for such events always trying to pity me(as if that is the most important issue in the world), I have to play my best role near them. On the other hand, I feel better with my friends because I can stay with them without any reaction, not always but generally they are not forcing me to speak, to react. And I am curios that I hate to be pitied because of my alexi, or since I hate this, I am alexi?
My mom thinks it's nothing. She just says, "Just tell me if you don't like something I say." Um..... I can't. It takes me two days to two weeks to process something she said. I try to explain that. SHe SAYS she understands, but she doesn't.
My mom acts like she is trying to be helpful, but her real message is "Please get yourself 'cured' so we don't have to deal with this....." SHe will ask me, "Can't you just go see a therapist?" I explain that therapists in the US aren't trained in this. So then she says, "well, can't you just go to [whatever country where they DO know of it] and talk to someone....?" (again, with the "please get yourself 'cured' so we don't have to deal with this.....)
