Topic: New to forum, got high score on test

Hi everyone

I had read about Alexithymia before but I came across it recently and took the test, getting a high score. I'm a 22 year old guy.

Here is why I think I may have Alexithymia:

-I feel very little pleasure or other feelings when I do anything. This includes going on holiday or nights out with my friends. But I don't feel depressed, and if I were depressed, anhedonia would be my only symptom. Everything feels the same.

-I do stuff but feel no motivate or pleasure. It's hard to describe, but I just do stuff I like even though I feel nothing. I mainly do intellectual activities, like reading or studying languages.

-I have what seems like a low libido but I use porn a lot, it feels more like a bodily urge. I don't feel much around girls and fantasise very little. I don't feel much social attachment in general.

-I think very logically and structurally even about emotional problems.

-I don't feel like I react the same as other people. The other day one of my friends was leaving to go back to Spain. Her and her friends were crying and very emotional. But I didn't really feel much of anything.

I know this isn't sociopathy because I have a conscience. I doubt it is schizoid personality disorder. I just feel so disconnected from my feelings. I've had joint pain for a while which is unexplainable by anything else, I've read that somatic complaints are common among Alexi sufferers.

The only feelings I feel is a kind of emptiness, occasionally a strong anger, and very occasionally a strong romantic feeling towards a girl. I was bullied for many years at school and started to notice feeling quite numbed out after that time. But I remember feeling quite empty before then as well.