Topic: Scored 134 or test, but I'm not sure I have this personality trait though?

English Alexithymia Forum > General Information

Scored 134 or test, but I'm not sure I have this personality trait though?
21.05.2016 by Gilbert

I do feel feelings, it's hard to put into words. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm feeling emotions or not. I can manipulative sometimes and that disturbs me.

I generally laugh when I find this funny, I'm not good with sarcasm and heavily suspect I'm on the autism spectrum (aspergers)

I can feel happiness (it's rare though), sad, hate, anger, envy, ambition and pretty much everything except love and deep connections with people. I would for example probably not cry if my parents died or siblings but I would be sad thats all. Same can be said about my best friends. Most of the time I just feel empty and sometimes confused of what to feel (neutral if you will?).

Read on reddit and on this site's forum that people with alexithymia generally don't have any feelings, emotions, and just can't perceive them? I'm really confused if this relates to me because I know what the emotions feel like (most of them).

I am also confused as to how to describe these feelings, my vocabulary is weak there, and when I feel fine I just say "fine" that's all. I rarely go deeper than that.

Additionally I would like to mention that I'm depressed and have anxiety at the moment I am seeing a doctor. This really confuses me because I don't know what caused this depression. It just got worse, that all I know, I feel like I've been like this my whole life, but I'm suddenly just "depressed"?

Can you guys relate at all with me? Maybe clarify some things?

Same score - similar issues
21.05.2016 by MrG

Gilbert
I would say that I pretty much mirror what you have said.
I can feel feelings, but, like you happiness is far less frequent. My vocabulary for expressing feelings is also poor.
My doctor rekoned that I may not be Alexi because I can identify feelings. But, I would say that Alexi is a combination of identification 'and' the effective communication of feelings. Both inbound and outbound.
Ask yourself this, would most other people be able to describe how they thought you were feeling? Would they be right? Likewise, would you be able to describe how other people are feeling succsfully? Do you sometimes get a bit confused about feelings and emotions that you experience?
Do people that are used to your company tend to appear complacent about what the 'world of Gilbert' is and what it means to you, even to the point of treating it with contempt? "Oh, Gilbert's fine, he's just sombody that gets on with things. Don't worry about him." :) Welcome to my world.

A reply
21.05.2016 by Gilbert

Ask yourself this, would most other people be able to describe how they thought you were feeling? Would they be right?
By most people Im assuming its people I know? They could guess but I doubt they could really understand. I don't feel "normal" and constantly feel left out because i'm very introverted.

Likewise, would you be able to describe how other people are feeling succsfully? Do you sometimes get a bit confused about feelings and emotions that you experience?
Almost NEVER, I can absolutely never. I can only tell if people dont want to talk, are not interesting in what im saying and such. Never feelings or emotion. I guess thats where my life long time anxiety comes from. I don't trust people I haven't known for a long time.

Do people that are used to your company tend to appear complacent about what the 'world of Gilbert' is and what it means to you, even to the point of treating it with contempt? "Oh, Gilbert's fine, he's just sombody that gets on with things. Don't worry about him." :) Welcome to my world.

I get the vibe that they just aren't interested in me, but hey, I can rarely tell what they're feeling or thinking about. I don't remember the word for this but when I walk into a room filled with people I think in my head that everyone notices me and my flaws, and I also assume what they're thinking (judging me and so on), I expect nothing good = social anxiety. Does it get to the point of contempt? Truth is I have no idea, I just sometimes get a "bad vibe" but I'm never really sure unless they really make it obvious whether its by saying to me face to face or somehow belittling me.

Interesting Reply
22.05.2016 by MrG

Gilbert. From your answers, I can certainly relate to what you have said. Being introvert does not make you any less important. It's my opinion that you are 'entitled' to feel comfortable, the world of Gilbert holds just as much importance as everybody elses.
I tend to describe it as.......
Just because somebody doesn't speak very much does not entitle us to assume that they no longer need their seat at the table when they return from nipping to the loo.

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