Topic: Unsure if im messed up in the head.

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

Unsure if im messed up in the head.
03.10.2017 by CaptainShadow

So I recently discovered this condition and I was wondering if I have alexithymia or something else altogether.I did score 143 on the test although I know that could be inaccurate because it not a medical professional.When I was a kid (I'm 18 now) I remember that I could feel emotions, but I can't remember what they felt like now. and between a neglecting father/abusive and a very controlling/verbally abusive grandmother around middle school, I stopped remembering feeling anything except for anger. anger is the only thing I know what it is although it doesn't last long and fades quickly. I don't hold grudges I usually forget about it the next day. Side, note I get really angry I will cry but only feel anger I have no idea why. Even when my girlfriend who I dated for 8 months when she broke up with me I didn't feel sad or angry I felt nothing just a cold emotionless void. I have been like this for years no outburst no nothing just rarely anger and nothing. I am really good at acting and people to take my advice for relationships and they don't realize its just what I heard from my mom's hallmark movies over the years I know how to fake everything well because I think I had emotions when I was younger.

Trauma and learning??
28.12.2017 by scarredlightning

Hi, my name is Alexis and I'm 16. I obviously am not some professional, but couldn't this be due to the fact that as a child you adapt to protect yourself emotionally and physically, thus leading to dissociative disorders and the likes. So maybe this could be something else... Like an onset from trauma. Are you seeing a specialist??

Maybe
29.12.2017 by CaptainShadow

I have no idea so it could be I just spent a couple hours research various condition and this was the closest thing I could find to my problems so I posted this asking if people thought if it was this because I can't afford a specialist in broke and in college.

Free counselling and wellness programs
29.12.2017 by scarredlightning

Oh, okay. In Australia they offer free counselling. Idk where you live but we have a program called "headspace"

thanks
06.01.2018 by CaptainShadow

thanks but I'm in America everything costs money here

WHAT?!!!
06.01.2018 by scarredlightning

That's ridiculous. I'm quite surprised. :I You might be able to contact the Australian lifeline, they have over the phone counselling.

Scoring high
06.01.2018 by KeiganN

If you score that high then yes you are alexithymic. The question becomes for what reasons:
- traumatic event
- parental neglect during formitable years
- DNA because you are wired that way

I feel moments of anger and rage that I can monitor and manage, minites of happiness, moments of sadness, most of the time I am indifferent.

ohhh
07.01.2018 by CaptainShadow

well that explains a lot of thanks and in America, we have some lifelines I (i think ill need to look it up)thought you meant like seeing a specialist

TLSpencer
23.01.2018 by TLSpencer

Dear CaptainShadow,

Please seek professional treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I have a similar background and the treatment helped me greatly.

huh
24.01.2018 by CaptainShadow

I never thought of PTSD ill see if I can find some help thanks

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