≡ Topic: Just Need To Express Something

Just Need To Express Something
22.01.2018 by JusticeXXIX

Hello, I'm new here. I just found out about this alexi thing today. I am 29. I recently got into a relationship last week with a woman. I havent had many relationships thus far. So far she seems really cool for the most part, but there are these times when she wants to meet her family, friends etc. I just feel scared to see them. I think thats what I feel. I always had trouble with my emotions even now I approach my relationship like its a job. I really dont want to mess this relationship up. I cant share emotions with her that I dont even know how to express. I can tell its wearing on her. I know how I'm suppose to feel, its like I dont really feel anything. I know I care for her and I dont want to hurt her and I dont want her to leave. I worry so much about not being even worthy of love ever. She's a good woman but I know that I cant keep going on like this with no emotions. Every time she starts talking about them, I fake my response or I just go along with it. but sometimes its tough to fake and I come off as cold. I'm pretty sure this is probably going way off topic but if you read it thanks.

14.02.2019 by User76076D72

Have you told her about your Alexithymia? I’ve had the same sort of problems with my family being upset because I won’t say I love them back. I’ve tried explaining that I’m not physically capable of feeling what they want me to but even if they don’t get it, maybe she will?
Explain to her that it’s like getting your arm cut off or not being born with an arm. You can’t feel pain or an itch in your arm if it’s literally not there. Or that it’s like being color blind. Everything is just gray and it doesn’t matter how much a person might describe blue or red to you, it’s still going to be gray to your eyes.